Title:  Space: 1999  What Should Have Happened - Black Sun

Author:  tayryn

Rating:  NC-17

Classification:  John and Helena romance

Archive:  my site

Disclaimer:  ITC owns them.  We’re just playing with them.  We promise to return them unharmed, but a whole lot happier!

Summary:  A very important missing scene.






“This list is final.”  Koenig said, starring straight ahead as he closed the base-wide channel before retreating quietly into his office.


“You knew he wouldn’t go.”  Victor said softly to Helena as they both watched John move to stare out his office window.


Helena didn’t respond; simply raised her eyebrows slightly, her gaze never leaving John’s form.  She turned to Victor and gave him a small smile then patted him on the arm before taking a step towards John’s office.


Helena…” Victor called to her softly, stopping her. 


“Victor.”  She shook her head at him and then continued into John’s office; pressing the button that would close the big doors.


Victor watched her moving down the stairs towards John until the doors closed and cut her from view.  He took a deep breath and then turned back to Main Mission.


John heard the doors close and knew she was there before he saw her reflection in the window, but didn’t turn to look at her.




“There’s nothing to say, Helena.”  John said, meeting her gaze in the reflection of the glass.  He saw her step closer, her arms wrapped around her chest, still fighting the cold.  He turned his head slightly, gazing out to the waiting Eagle.  “Shouldn’t you be packing?”


“I… I wanted to…” Helena paused and reached out to touch his arm.  “…John…”


Slowly John turned around to face her, his hand coming up to cover hers as he looked into her eyes; seeing everything in their green depths that he’d been waiting weeks to see.  He smiled softly but shook his head.  Helena.”


“John, I wanted to tell you…” She stepped closer to him, placing her other hand on his chest; knowing her eyes were broadcasting her feelings openly; seeing the same feelings reflected in his blue eyes.  She took a shuddering breath.  “…Good-bye…”


John smiled sadly, nodding his head.  He reached out as if to caress her cheek but caught himself and placed his hand on her shoulder.


“Good-bye, Helena.”  He said softly, leaning towards her to place a kiss on her cheek.


At the last moment, Helena turned her face and caught his lips with hers.  John pulled back immediately; shocked.  He stared at her for only a second before pulling her into his arms, his mouth covering hers in a passionate, desperate kiss.  They moaned into each other’s mouths as the kiss deepened.  Helena slid her arms up his chest and around his neck, clinging to him and molded her body to his.


“Make love to me, John.”  She whispered against his lips, threading her one hand into his hair as the other moved to the zipper at his neck.


Helena…” he pulled back just enough to look into her face; shaking his head slightly.  “We can’t… it wouldn’t be right.  As much as I want to… not here… not like this.”


Helena pressed herself closer to him, her hand slowly working the zipper down his arm.  “I want you, John.”  She said, her voice growing husky.  “I have from the first moment I met you.”


“…Helena…” John moaned softly, as she dipped her head and moved her lips along his now exposed collarbone.


“Give me something to take with me, John.  I want my last memory on Alpha to be of you…” Helena said, moving her lips up along his throat.  “Of your hands on my body, your skin against mine.  My heart is already yours…” She brought her lips back to his for another long kiss and when it ended she looked deep into his cerulean depths.  “And I want, if only this one time, to belong totally to you… heart, mind… body and soul.”


“I love you, Helena.”  John whispered hoarsely as he captured her lips again in an almost savage kiss; his one hand moving to the zipper of her uniform as his other reached for his commlock and aimed it at the door; locking it.


No more words were spoken as their uniforms were quickly shed and they sank down onto the carpeted floor, under the window, neither one noticing, nor caring about the chill in the room.  Only the fire burning between them mattered now.


John cradled Helena’s head in his hands as his body covered hers, continuing to kiss her ardently.  He broke off the kiss to gaze once more into her blazing emerald eyes before slowly kissing his way down her throat.  He paused when he came to her breasts; the rosy peaks already hard from the chill in the air, coupled by the excitement shooting through her body.  He smiled as he took one of her nipples in his mouth, hearing her gasp and reach out to clutch her fingers in his hair.


“John!”  She moaned as she felt him suckling at her nipple.  She moaned again as he moved to her other breast, gasping slightly again as he nipped her gently.


John kissed and caressed his way down her body, wanting and needing to taste every inch of her.  When he came to the nest of blonde curls between her thighs, he inhaled deeply, the scent of her arousal washing over him; adding more fuel to the already searing fire coursing through his veins.  He placed a kiss on both her inner thighs before pressing his mouth against her.


“John!”  She cried out quietly as his lips closed around her sensitive flesh and feeling him slip two fingers inside her.  “Oh… Joohn!”


John continued to love her with his mouth and hand until he felt a small tremor pass through her body and she arched against him.


Helena reached out again to entangle her fingers in his hair, whimpering his name as the heated sensations coursing through her body intensified.  She didn’t know how much more she could take.


“Please… John…” she tugged gently on his hair.  He looked up at her.  “Now… I want you inside me… now!”


John gave her one last loving kiss and then slowly kissed his way back up her body, his lips finding and locking with hers as he positioned himself over her.  He felt her slide her long legs along his and wind them about his hips.  He broke off the kiss and raised himself up onto his elbows; locking his eyes with hers as he slowly pressed himself inside her.


“Mmm… Go… od… John!”  She moaned loudly, her legs tightening around him, drawing him closer.


Helena!”  John groaned her name at the same time.


Their lips came together again as John began to roll his hips against her.  Slowly John broke off the kiss and began to move with more purpose inside her, withdrawing almost completely before pressing his length back inside her.  Helena gasped and ran her hands down John’s sides to clutch at his backside, lifting her hips to meet his every thrust.


They continued to rock against each other, their bodies moving in total concert, their breathing growing more ragged with every increase in the tempo of their union; the fire between them blazing out of control.


John felt Helena’s orgasm begin to take hold of her as her body began to tremble beneath his and she began to gasp his name over and over, her nails streaking up across his back to clutch at his shoulders.  He moved quicker inside her, slipping a hand between their bodies to find and stroke her sensitive flesh.


“JO…OHN!!”  She screamed his name against his shoulder as her release burst into a flaming inferno inside her, scorching through her veins like lava.  She writhed beneath him, her legs locking around him and holding him tight inside her.


“HEL… ENA!!”  Her name was a loud groan on John’s lips moments later, her release igniting his as the flames of his orgasm danced through every part of his body.


He collapsed on top of her, burying his face in her neck as she clung to him; both of them breathing heavily, their bodies trembling against each other as the shockwaves of their release continued to wash over them.


“I love you.”  Helena whispered against his ear over and over again as tears coursed down her cheeks.  She felt John kiss her neck and then watched as he raised his head and smiled at her.  He moved to pull out and move off of her, but she stopped him, keeping her legs locked tight around him.  “No… don’t.”




“John… please…”


“I don’t want…”


“You won’t.”  She told him.  “I just want this to last a little longer.  To be with you… belong to you in this moment for just a few more minutes.”


John simply nodded and allowed her to pull him back to her, pillowing his head on her breasts.  A short time later, the cool air of John’s office hit their damp skin and they shivered.  John raised his head again and gave her a look.


“I know…” she smiled sadly and allowed John to roll off her; shivering again as more of her skin was exposed to the cool air.


They quickly re-dressed in silence, glancing out the window at the Eagle on the launch pad; both too keenly aware of what that ship represented.  Finally when they were both dressed, John turned to Helena and gathered her into his arms.


“I love you, Helena.”  He whispered passionately into her hair.  “Never forget that.  My heart and soul belong to you and you alone.  Nothing… not even time and distance can change that.”


Helena nodded her head against his chest, not trusting herself to speak; knowing she would ask him… beg him, to let her stay.  She slowly raised her head and allowed his lips to cover hers in a long, tender kiss before pulling herself out of his arms.


“I need to pack.”  She said, brushing the tears off her cheeks and out of her eyes.  “There’s not much time left.”


John nodded and walked with her towards the other door of his office, his hand on her elbow.  He stopped her just before she opened the door and pulled her back into his arms for one last, long, desperate kiss.


When the kiss ended, Helena reached up and touched her hand to his cheek, running her thumb over his lips.


“I love you.”  She whispered and then opened and walked out the door.


John turned as the door closed and walked back to the window, staring at the Eagle.  He was doing the right thing… she had to go.


“The list is final.”  He whispered, leaning his head on the window, tears in his eyes.


                             **                                      **                                      **


Helena stood with her arms crossed over her chest, her eyes following John as he moved down the line, meeting the eyes of the other five people leaving on the survival ship.


She knew he was telling them something, but she wasn’t paying attention to his words.


~I love you, Helena.  Never forget that.  My heart and soul belong to you and you alone.  Nothing… not even time and distance can change that.~


John’s words from only fifteen minutes earlier, echoed in her mind as her eyes left John, unconsciously moving to the spot under the window where not long ago, they’d made love.


A warmth ran through Helena’s body as she remembered the feel of John’s hands caressing her body, the weight of his body as he moved in and over her and just as quickly the warmth was replaced with a feeling of despair; knowing that within moments, she was going to be forced to leave him.


“Alright, then, that’s it.”  She heard John say.  “You lift off in twenty minutes.”




“No goodbyes, Alan, please.”


“Yes, sir.”


Helena’s eyes remained on John as the others filed past her, out of the office.  She stepped toward him as she heard the door slide shut.  “John.”


John turned at his name, his hands clasped in front of him, and stepped towards her.  “You’re going.”


“I’m not going.  Doctor Mathias can replace me.”


“Like hell he can.  That list is final.”  John told her.  “This isn’t the time for the noble gesture.”


“I’m not being noble.  If anything…” Helena stepped closer.  “John, it’s my life.  If it ends here on Alpha, or somewhere out in space, what difference can it make?”


“It makes a difference. ”  John told her quietly, his gaze meeting and locking with hers.  “To me.”


The quiet emotion she heard in John’s voice caused a rush of emotion to pass over her and brought tears to her eyes.  She reached for his hands, her fingers lacing with his as she whispered his name.


John pulled one of his hands free to reach up and caress her cheek to wipe away the tears that had spilled out onto her cheek with his thumb.


“Don’t make me leave.”




“John, please.  I don’t want to leave Alpha.”  Helena whispered.  “Or you.”


John swallowed back the tears he felt burning in his throat as he threaded his fingers in her hair and pulled her tight into his embrace.  He felt her arms slip around him and hold him tightly as she buried her face in his chest and her tears soak through his uniform top.  John let out a shuddering breath and buried his face in her hair.


They stood just holding each other; their quiet sobs echoing throughout John’s office.


“I don’t want you to leave me either.”  John murmured into her hair.  “I want nothing more than to hold you like this during whatever is going to happen and not let you go.”


“Then don’t.  Don’t let go.”


“I have to, Helena.”  His arms tightened around her a little more, drawing her closer.  “You know I have to.”


Helena nodded and mumbled against his chest. 


“I don’t like it either.”  John replied, sliding his hands up her back and into her hair.  He lifted her head off his chest and gazed down into her glistening green eyes.  “It’s time.”


Helena nodded, her eyes filling again with fresh tears.  “I know.”


“I love you.”  John whispered as he brushed his lips against hers.  “Promise me you’ll never forget that.”


“I promise.”  Helena whispered back.  “I love you too.”


Their lips came together in a slow burning kiss that quickly escalated into a passionate, soul-searing kiss.


“…John…” Helena breathlessly said his name against his lips.  One last appeal.  “Please…”


John shook his head as he once again wiped the tears from her cheeks.  “You have to go.”


Helena sighed and nodded as she slowly moved out of his arms and walked across the office to the back door.  She turned back to see that he hadn’t turned to watch her.  She called his name softly and he turned his head.  She smiled sadly at him.


John nodded and gave her a sad smile of his own and watched her open and walk out of his office.  As he did the first time she left, John turned and walked back to the window to once again stare at the survival Eagle.


She had to go.


“That damn list is final.”


He grimaced in pain as his fist connected with the thick glass.



                             **                                      **                                      **


“You must have followed us into the black sun.”


“We went in the opposite direction.”


“Ah, you must have followed us.”


“We didn’t.”  Helena said, as she listened to John, Victor and Alan.


“We went right through it.  It was fantastic.”  Tossed out Paul.


“But how?”  John asked Alan.  “If you didn’t follow us through, how did you find Alpha again?  A million light years?”


“Mmm.  Right across the universe.”  Victor mused.


Alan looked at the older man.  “I’m an astronaut, Professor.  Not a philosopher.”


“Something,” Helena began, glancing around at the people gathered, a trace of a smile on her lips.  “Brought us home.”


“Yes.”  John smiled.  “Home.”


Helena met his eyes as he stepped out of the doorway and stepped over to her.  They shared a knowing look and then with his hand in the small of her back, John led her away from the crowd.


Twenty minutes later, John and Helena stood in her quarters, wrapped securely in each other’s arms, holding on to each other as tightly as they could; neither one saying a word, letting the silence surround them.


Some time later, John trailed his hands up Helena’s back and into her hair to gently lift her head from his chest, in order to gaze into her eyes.  He smiled softly as his hands slipped down to cup her face, his thumbs caressing her cheeks.


“I don’t care how it happened.”  He said quietly.  “I’m just thankful you’re home and in my arms.”


“The only place I ever wanted to be.”  Helena smiled up at him as she squeezed him gently.  “Promise me you’ll never make me leave you again.”


“I promise.”  John said quietly, leaning down to brush his lips against hers.  “I’m never letting you go again.”


Helena smiled, threading her fingers into his hair and drawing him back down for a long, deep kiss that left them breathless when they parted.


“Welcome home, my love.”  John whispered, his forehead resting against hers.  “Welcome home.”





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